A Truther bedtime fairy-tale:
The true story behind Disney’s “Tangled”
Once upon a time there was a good queen who lived in a mysterious land (far-far away). The land was being destroyed by Monsanto – the evil dark lord of the underworld. All the food was being poisoned with genetically modified organisms (GMOs) and with chemtrails sprayed in the air. With so much pollution in the air and water, children were being born with horrible deformities and psychological illnesses such as Autism and Alzheimers, with Fluoride causing retardation. The king was desperate for the queen to give birth to a normal healthy child. However, the queen was suffering terribly from malnutrition and constantly craved a good source of Iron. The king knew that his next door neighbour was keen on growing organic food in her garden. She had all kinds of lovely smelling herbs and plants. Her name was Dr. Judy Wood. However, most other people in town were scared of her because she was infamously known as a “truther freak” – who liked to study strange and mysterious weapons of mass destruction (aka Directed Energy Weapons – DEWs), which (incidentally) no-one else could find but her. Some said she was just a crazy old witch who liked to stare all day long in her mirror, singing: “Mirror, mirror on the wall, who’s the fairest of them all?” Many were convinced that her mysterious DEWs were all just a figment of her wild imagination. They didn’t believe anything she said, and they shunned her – fearing she was a pagan, a sun worshipper, or an Illuminati member, or a Free Energy advocate freak with far too much time on her hands. However, the king of the land desperately needed to find a cure for his unhealthy but pregnant wife. He needed to get on Judy’s good side, and quick! So he employed Dr. Jim Fetzer to give her newly published book a “5 Star” review rating on Amazon.com. Dr. Jim Fetzer secretly hated Dr. Judy Wood but he always did as he was told – even though his nemesis Pete Santilli often made fun of him on the radio for loving the local old hag Dr. Wood, and her crazy book entitled “Where Did The Towers Go?” Pete would often try to convince Dr. Fetzer to remove his ‘5 Star’ review rating of Judy’s book – because he knew Jim Fetzer secretly hated Dr. Judy Wood’s guts. Pete knew that Jim was more fearful of the king and needed to obey his every command. That’s why Jim always blankly refused to downgrade his review of Judy Wood’s book – not even by one measly star. However, everyone in town already knew that Judy was a freak who was into anything to do with “dustified” tall towers. Some even believed that she was secretly trying to build the tallest Ivory Tower in the world (perhaps a bit like the Tower of Babel), in some hidden mysterious country location. But that rumour could never be verified because she often moved about sneakily in the dark, and people would always get lost in the woods trying to follow her. That’s why her name was Judy Wood – because she was like a Judas getting people lost from the way of God – with her pagan, nature worshipping evil ways in the deep dark forest, so that they couldn’t see the wood for the trees. Many feared her as she was clearly a devil worshipper who didn’t like shopping at her local supermarket – which was filled only with Monsanto’s GMO food, or with plastic food like plastic rice from China.
Gordon Duff (Senior Editor of “Veterans Today” news) apparently loved anything to do with Monsanto – he was the most loyal Monsanto lover in the entire land. This was Gordon’s daily nightly prayer – taken from his secret book entitled “Love’s Tipping Point”:
“We give thanks to Monsanto, the drug companies, Bush, Cheney, the Bankers, Obama etc. – for teaching us the depth of our love for what they have tried to take from us – the truth of words, all of nature and its very fertility, the diversity of species (including ourselves), our forests, our buried minerals, our health and our ability to heal ourselves, our democracies, our freedom, our bodies, the world’s peace, our children’s minds and fertility. Amen.”
One dark and stormy night, the king was fearful that his wife was dying. Her iron blood levels were becoming dangerously low. None of the food he bought from his local G.M.O. supermarket would work as a cure – to provide the energy his wife urgently needed. In desperation, he called for Dr. Judy Wood. He asked for her help. He promised her that he’d try to get more people to buy her books if she would help him. Judy then reached into her basket of organic herbs, and picked out the greenest Iron-fuelled herb that she could find – a bunch of raw organic parsley! She gave it to the queen to eat. Instantly the queen’s health improved. From that moment on, the queen was practically addicted to the stuff. She couldn’t get enough of it. Whenever the king took her to a restaurant she wouldn’t order anything to eat. She’d just sit there crunching on raw parsley leaves and stems that she’d bought from Judy, munching away like a rabbit. The Monsanto restaurant chefs were always glad that she would only sit in the V.I.P. section of the restaurant – so that no-one else could see her munching madly on parsley. However, one regular customer at the restaurant was becoming suspicious of the queen’s strange behaviour, and was secretly spying on her. Then one day he disguised himself as one of the restaurant chefs, and secretly stole some of her parsley for scientific analysis. Unfortunately, the king found out and put a bounty on his head. The customer’s name was Steve De’ak. He was a local scientist who liked to study and test anything he could find – things like missiles hitting Twin Towers on 9/11, or strange plants giving mysterious powers to people. He was now on the run with the king’s guards always chasing after him. No-body wanted to be his friend anymore – not even his close Mexican fellow researcher named Pablo Novi. Steve was now left to do all the scientific testing on his own, in secret hidden locations. Occasionally he would beg Dr. Jim Fetzer for some help, but Dr. Fetzer had other more important things on his mind – like fighting with his rivals Dr. Kevin Barrett and Gordon Duff.
At last the queen was ready to give birth. The king was overjoyed. In his excitement he went to tell the good news to his next door neighbour Dr. Judy Wood. However, she didn’t answer the door when he rang the door bell. Bored by waiting at her door, the king’s eyes moved to marvel at all the parsley grown in her organic garden. He couldn’t help but grab a great big bunch to surprise his wife with. He didn’t think that Judy Wood would mind because he was her regular customer for the herb. Unfortunately and tragically he gravely misjudged her. The minute he took the parsley from the ground, Judy sprang up from behind a bush to surprise him: “Ha, ha!” She shrieked at him: “I’ve got you!” She said: “What will the people think of a king who secretly steals, but then hypocritically punishes local scientists who steal too?” The king turned pale. He instinctively knew that the old scarecrow was not joking. The way that she would stare at him blankly, with her beady eyes, would send a chill down his spine. He promised her anything in return. The queen replied: “Are you sure you mean ANYTHING? Cross your heart and hope to die?” The king quivered: “Yes, anything, just say the word. I owe you so much already for saving the life of my pregnant dearly beloved wife.” Judy then replied: “Well then, let me see. These things must be done delicately, or we might kill the queen. But that’s not what’s bothering me. I need to safeguard the magic spell – so I’ll just have your newborn baby when it’s born then shall I?” The king was shocked by her request. In his view, she was clearly going stark raving mad. But just to shut her up, he agreed to her every demand.
The king was doomed to live forever with regret – ever since that fateful day when his newborn baby girl was stolen from the palace. The baby’s name was Parsley – because her mother had loved the herb so much. He knew in his heart that Dr. Judy Wood had stolen her. But he couldn’t prove it and she always denied it anyway. Every year he would fly hundreds of lanterns high into the night’s sky – to commemorate the day his beloved daughter had disappeared. He hoped that his people would never give up hope, and would continue searching for her until she was found.
The king had correctly guessed the suspected kidnapper. It was indeed Judy Wood who’d secretly took the baby from her cradle. Now that the baby was all grown up, Judy kept her hidden in her tall ivory tower in the middle of no-where, alone away from everybody. She would always sing her song: “Mother Knows Best” – to discourage Parsley from trying to escape from her. Parsley was made to read all of Judy’s books and she read “Where Did The Towers Go” like about a million times – because, basically, it had lots of interesting pictures, and because there was nothing else interesting to read in the sky-high ivory tower. She would secretly dream of some DEW (Directed Energy Weapon) that would pull down Judy’s very own tower – the one she was imprisoned in. Her only consolation was being able to speak to her pet lizard, as she brushed her long golden hair. Judy would use her hair to climb up the ivory tower. Everyday she’d yell: “Parsley! Throw down your hair!”
One day Judy was overheard screaming her command to Parsley – by a wandering scientist in the forest. Yes, you guessed right. That scientist was indeed Steve De’ak – the princess rescuing hero of our story. And the rest (as they say) is history – or, in other words, we can’t be bothered to finish telling the rest of this real-life fairy-tale. So to end this tale of ‘happy ever after’ (sorry if rather abruptly), we’ll now leave you with Parsley and Steve Deak’s favourite song:
[Steve] Hi Parsley
[Parsley] Hi Steve!
[Steve] Do ya wanna go for a ride?
[Parsley] Sure Steve
[Steve] Jump in…
I’m a Parsley girl, in a Parsley world
Food’s all plastic, but I’m fantastic
You can brush my hair, it’s golden everywhere
Imagination, life is your creation
Come on Parsley, let’s go party!
I’m a blonde bimbo girl, in a fantasy world
GMO free, shoppin’ right with ma trolley
You’re my hero, wildly grow, organic food really healthy,
Pesticide free, so yummy, no hanky panky…
You can touch, you can play, if you say: “Monsanto will die!”
[Steve and Parsley together]
Come on Parsley, let’s go party
Come on Parsley, let’s go party
Come on Parsley, let’s go party
Come on Parsley, let’s go party
Oh, I’m having so much fun!
Well Parsley, we’re just getting started
Oh, I love you Steve!
Tangled song: “Now I see the light”
YouTube video song: “Tangled – I see the light”
YouTube Song: “Mother Knows Best”