On the “Chappelle Show”, Dave Chappelle tells the story of how the pop star Prince once surprised his friends with his basketball and pancake making skills. So other than being a “truther” and a musical genius, Prince had many other hidden talents yet to be discovered:
To defeat The Establishment, every truther now needs to learn how to at least make pancakes in order to survive. Especially now that the current U.K. Conservative government has just realised that “poor people can’t cook” – because they can’t afford to buy any food, or pay for heating to heat their food:
“Poor people don’t know how to cook” stated Baroness Jenkin – a Conservative peer. Baroness Jenkin was speaking at the House of Commons launch of the Feeding Britain report which calls for action from the Government, supermarkets and utility companies to stop increasing number of people using food banks: https://uk.news.yahoo.com/tory-peer-says-poor-dont-know-cook-151100435.html
So for all you unfortunate poor people, with poor cooking skills – because you’re just so damn frickin’ poor, here’s a simple pancake recipe – that if you’re not too bloody poor to learn, will help feed your entire family and perhaps 5,000 more people – perhaps just like the way Jesus managed to feed 5,000 people with just a few fish – After all, it’s Christmas time so anything can happen!:
A Simple Pancake Recipe – for dumb poor people who can’t even cook!:
Total Time: 20 min Prep: 10 min Cook: 10 min Level: Easy Yield: Serves 4
- 1 cup self-rising flour
- 1 cup milk
- 1 large egg, preferably free-range or organic
- Pinch sea salt
- 1 pear
- A few knobs butter
- Natural yogurt, to serve
- Runny honey, to serve
- Some purple food colouring if you’re a Prince fan
Put the flour, milk, egg, and salt in a mixing bowl and whisk until smooth. Once combined, grate in the pear, core and all, then stir it through with a spoon. Put a large pan on a medium heat and add a knob of butter. Once that melts, add the batter, a spoonful at a time. You’ll need to cook the pancakes in batches, cooking them for a few minutes, until golden on the bottom then flipping them over and cooking for a few minutes more until they’re done. When they’re golden and fluffy, serve them right away with a dollop of natural yogurt and some runny honey drizzled all over the top. Cook’s Note: If you sweeten the batter, thicken it with just a little more flour then pour them into a Yorkshire pudding or muffin tin they also make the most delicious muffins.
Recipe courtesy Jamie Oliver (A rich person who can afford to cook, so there!):
Here is a more complicated Italian pancake recipe for those of you who aren’t THAT frickin’ ridiculously poor – like the truther Simon Shack who lives in a big house in Italy:
Michela: “Try these frittelle for your Dirt Poor Pancake Day. Our Nonna used to make us these in the mornings and you’d always get woken by the smell! Absolutely divine! I would argue that even though these are fried, if they are homemade they’ll be healthier than buying pre-processed pancakes from a supermarket. It’s a wonder that poor people can even afford to go to the supermarket these days anyway.”
- 1 egg
- 3 tbsp sugar
- 75ml milk
- 25ml extra virgin olive oil
- 150g flour
- 1 tsp baking powder
- Splash of vanilla essence
- Pinch of salt
- 2 apples
- Sunflower oil, for frying
- First whisk together the egg, sugar, milk and olive oil. Then whisk in the flour, baking powder, vanilla essence and salt. Your mixture should be quite thick.
- Peel, core and quarter the apples then grate them into the mixture using the large holes on grater).
- In a frying pan heat some oil – on a medium heat as you don’t want them to burn. Spoon a few dollops of your mixture into the pan to create flat, mini pancakes about 10cm in diameter.
- Once golden, flip the pancakes to brown on the other side. Then when golden all over, remove and place on kitchen roll to absorb any excess oil and sprinkle with sugar whilst hot. They’re delish to eat cold too, but ours never last that long!
Baroness Jenkin says: “Now feed the world with your frickin’ pancakes, you frickin’ poor people who can’t even bloomin’ well cook, because you’re all just such pathetic dirt poor prats!.. Pancake plate, pancake plate. I only want to see you laughing with your purple pancake plate… Let ’em eat cake!”