What JFK really meant to say during his moon-landing speech:
We choose to go to the moon and do the other things, not because it’s easy but…
…because it’s impossible to go there with the friggin’ Van Allen cosmic radiation belt in the friggin’ way!
…because the CIA is after my big fat butt!
…because a monolithic and ruthless conspiracy is after my butt!
…because Freemasonic secret societies are freaking me out!
…because Buzz Aldrin is a prolific liar who binges on oats for breakfast – He lies and lies about eating oats on his way to the moon – just to make a few cheap pennies from British “Quaker Oats” T.V. commercials. Pathetic really, honestly who does that?! It’s like throwing a shoe at Dr. Evil!
…because Neil Armstrong can’t tell the truth to save his life, but instead dies in a delusional state of “truth’s protective layers” – in layers upon waves of lies in an unmarked grave at the bottom of the sea – just like how the U.S. Navy allegedly treated Osama Bin Ladin with his undignified burial at sea. So Armstrong’s fake moon-landing heroism doesn’t mean crap to NASA after all.
… because Jim Fetzer and Dennis Cimino will eventually expose our big fat lying ass butts – so we’ll all need somewhere else to hide when SHTF.
…because Jim Fetzer still loves The Beatles music even though he knows that they were a satanically inspired music group who worshipped Aleister Crowley.
…because Dennis Cimino doesn’t have the balls to tell Gordon Duff what he really thinks of him – choosing instead to write him goodbye love letters, whilst endlessly backbiting about him to anonymous people on the internet, and moaning to Jim Fetzer about how much he really hates him. But yet Dennis, nevertheless, still has the balls to take on the might of NASA – this is very odd behaviour from Dennis – there’s life in Dennis’s brain Jim, but not as we know it!
…because Dennis Cimino and Jim Fetzer condemn Steve De’ak and his Big Idea of a “9/11 Crash Test Project” for no good reason whatsoever, and we all know that “condemnation without investigation is the height of ignorance” – and wilful ignorance solves nothing – Duh!
…because I’m such a lying twat who likes to shag mind-controlled sex-slaves like Marilyn Monroe even though I’m a married man – I’m really just a degenerate fool and you Americans deserve not to be told the truth about anything, including the truth about the impossibility of landing on the moon!
…because in the future my fellow degenerate Americans will vote for another pussy-grabbing, gangster mafia boss named “The Don”.
..because at the precipice there isn’t change but Donald Trump! – So when a friggin’ asteroid lands on our friggin’ heads – because we’ve elected yet another degenerate dumb-ass leader, we’ll all need somewhere else to live when Earth burns to smithereens.
…because there are aliens living on the moon, and we freemasonic NASA folk just love to kiss big fat alien butt.
…because going to the moon is soooo friggin’ hard right now, and I’m such a pussy I can’t even pray five times a day like I’m supposed to do.
…because leading Muslim scholars are content to perpetuate the ancient libellous myth that prophet Mohammed (PBUH) married an underage girl, and they allow children to be circumcised even though the prophet warned that there should be “no compulsion in religion”. So to hell with them! Good-bye cruel world, ’cause I’m off to the moon to moonwalk like Michael Jackson and Sheikh Abdal-Hakim Murad!
…because I’m just so friggin’ pissed-off right now!! I hate ya all soooo much right now, ahhhhhh!!!
…because I’ve got a lovely bunch of coconuts; big ones; small ones; some as big as your head!
… because if you believe “they put a man on the moon” you’re friggin’ nuts! – Or a delusional anti-conspiracy theorist, anti-9-11 truther, BBC-loving sheikh by the name of Abdal Hakim Murad (aka Tim Winter), whichever is crazier!
… because humans totally screwed Planet Earth, that’s why! Dumbass!