The Secret Diary of Amna Farah
Diary Entry: Day 1
If you’re reading this diary entry right now, then I can only assume that you’re doing so by pure miraculous chance! It defies the laws of nature for such a diary as this to travel through time and land in your presence right now. Fate surely is a strange thing. Perhaps you’re the prophesised “One” that will help destroy “The Matrix” of the Deep State so that it doesn’t develop into the horrors I have witnessed it to have become now – but yet still to happen in your future – within a post-apocalyptic Donald Trump era. No-one in your life-time, would ever have imaged that a Trump presidency would herald such doom for humanity in future years. Surely someone in your era, other than popstar Prince, should have read the “signs of the times”? Never in the history of self-delusion has there ever been such a monumental delusion, as that of the epitome of delusion itself – namely Donald Trump! How could “We the People” ever think to imagine Trump as being one of them – it simply defies any logical explanation! That’s like Orwellian ‘double-think’ on steroids! The Don was a blatant satanic freemason for friggin’ sake! How could no-one have ever noticed? It’s like you’re friggin’ takin’ friggin’ crazy pills! Even a small child, a baby, A BABY should’ve known that! What with all Trump’s frequent ‘666’ freemasonic hand signals, you’d think that at least someone would have rung some bells between their thick-headed skulls to realise. Just because some presstitute goes on T.V. to say that Trump isn’t a member of any secret society organisation, that don’t mean you should believe him. Duh! Well “The Simpsons” cartoon warned about the economic collapse following a Trump presidency, but none of you took any notice. Just like you didn’t take notice when The Simpsons accurately predicted the death of popstar Prince, and movie actor Robin Williams and, of course, the 9/11 terror event too. One should know that one lives in a dumbed-down fascist nation-state when one relies on a friggin’ cartoon to accurately predict the future! It doesn’t take two brain cells to realise that if you elect a total racist bigot moron like Trump for president, then it won’t be long before SHTF!
After the world-wide economic collapse, Trump put the blame entirely on Truthers, Muslims and Mexicans. Americans then started to hunt us down like dogs. They would often threaten us with: “Do you wanna die like dogs?” We’d then reply, “No, we will not die like dogs! We’ll fight like lions! ‘cause we are The Three Amigos: Muslims, Truthers and Mexicans!” However, there was no real safe haven anywhere in the world. Rich fake sheikhs of the U.A.E. were too busy planning future trips to the planet Mars, to give a damn about Muslim refugees. They turned the whole of the gulf sea into a five-star holiday “palm beach” resort, and had planned to do the same on Mars. But they wouldn’t even spare a penny helping the poor and destitute Muslim refugees of the world. There was only one place that such a Muslim could truly feel safe. That place was the one and only true “safe haven” pioneered by the legendary true sheikh and 9/11 truther named Steve De’ak. He built the safe haven truther refugee home from the ground up with his bare hands.
After many arduous days and nights travelling through the wilderness and dodging Trump’s Gestapo hunters, I made it safely to De’ak’s safe haven in cold snowy Snowden. A place so far remote, that even a CIA troll like Edward Snowden would’ve had difficulty finding. Perhaps that’s why it’s called Snowden. Duh!
For a long time now my home has been a tiny corner in the attic. There are many mouths to feed and one wonders when the ‘truthers’ residing here will finally ‘snap’ and turn on each other. There’s only so much of Kevin Barrett’s singing that one can take! We’ve learned various survival techniques from De’ak, one of them is to roast a hog any time any of the Trump men are around in the area. We all gather around De’ak and sing the fat pig lady song – the song from the musical Hairspray – “You’re timeless to me.” ’cause it ain’t over ’til the fat lady sings:
The Nazi Gestapo would never suspect that Muslims would ever live in a house that smelled of roast pig. De’ak is a genius! Even Stew Webb is now begging for a spot within De’ak’s hideaway home. He wants to build a spider-like web to nest in within the corner of the attic, but De’ak has no more room in the inn. Unless Stew Webb comes riding on a donkey and heavily pregnant, it’ll be a cold day in hell before he’s ever let in. He’ll just have to face the wolves and Gordon Duff alone. He’s too much of a risk and will only rat our location to the military boots. Stew has more surveillance microchips in his body than the entire NSA Matrix spy system altogether. The ‘Deep State’ deep-fried his brains with all their directed energy weapons (DEW), and not even a tin foil hat or Dr. Judy Wood can save him now. He’ll just have to fend for himself, as it’s every man for himself now.
We constantly live in fear that De’ak’s goodwill will slowly begin to fade – as secretly looking after hoards of Muslims and truthers eventually takes its toll. Would he ever turn on us and suck up to the BBC like sheikh Abdal Hakim Murad once did? No, NEVER!! Would he ever suck up to George W. Bush like our leading sheikh Hamza Yusuf once did? NEVER!!! Would he ever dance the dance of death with the pagan goddess Kali outside of CERN – like our famous Muslim scientist Professor Jim Khalili always does? Not on your Nelly!! Would he ever give up eating pork and thus expose our hideaway retreat to the Nazi Trump supporters? Possibly, who knows, as one can never REALLY trust a Sean Connery lookalike when the pressure is well ‘n’ truly on. One can only pray and hope that his hog/pig supply lasts us through the winter months. Sorry, I must rush to hide now. I hear military boots on the ground singing, “…these boots are made for walking and that’s just what they’ll do, and one of these days these boots are gonna walk all over you!” They literally do sing that song! Donald Trump had such singing boots made especially with autotune to scare the living daylights outta Truthers, Muslims and Mexicans – aka “the Tru-Mu-Mex”. Our so-called infamous “Tru-Mu-Mex” aka “T-Mex” group became the new ‘axis of evil’ for the apocalyptic Trump era. In museums the Tyrannosaurus-Rex (T-Rex) dinosaur was renamed T-Mex – to symbolise Trump’s hatred for Truthers, Muslims and Mexicans. Children were taught to throw pork chops at the truther T-Mex dinosaur effigy and burn him on Bon Fire night, singing: “Build a bon fire; build a bon fire…put the truthers on the top. Put the rest all in the middle and we’ll burn the whole damn lot!” Not even a direct descendant of Guy Fawkes from the Winter family – aka Tim Winter aka sheikh Abdal Hakim Murad could save us now!
I’ve just described the very least of horrors awaiting you in a post-Trump medieval era. These horrors are very real and are happening now. If, for some odd reason, this diary has travelled back in time to you, then please note that it’s for a very good reason! Diaries don’t just travel back in time for no reason whatsoever you know! Duh! Read the signs. Read the writing on the wall. Act now to change the course of history before it’s too late. I don’t think Steve’s supply of pork will last us much longer, so we’ll not be able to divert the attention of the mad hounds of hell from seeking our pure truther souls. It’s all up to you now. Please don’t let us down. We’re all counting on you! Only you! So get off your big fat butt and do something already!! What’s a friggin’ truther gotta do to get some mercy around here for heaven’s sake!
…Steve is that you calling? O.K., Steve I will shine your boots for the millionth time. I will cook your favourite pork chops. Anything else I can do for you Sheikh ‘n’ Steve? Please Steve, don’t tell Trump we’re living here…hush little Stevie don’t say a word, Momma gonna bye you a big fat bird, and if that big fat bird should sing, Big Momma gonna buy you some sing-along bling … We beg of you Steve. Have mercy!! You’re all we’ve got in this world right now. Don’t let your goodwill die… Here, have some roast marshmallows with those roast pork chops. Did we tell ya this is a very nice fine refugee home ya built for us here in these Snowden mountains? Bruce Lee says: “We like to dig the mines for you. We like to die on the railroads. One for ‘Column A’ and one for ‘Column B’. Ahhaaaaahhhh!!” And Malcolm X says, “We like to be a House Muslim for you De’ak. What’s the matter boss WE sick?”… Here have some gold Olympic medals from me great, great, great, great grandpa Mo Farah. Yes, I’m a distant relative of Mo Farah – that’s why my name is Amna Farah. I had to sell some of his gold to get me here to your refugee truther house. How come you is not aging like me ole grand daddy Mo Farah, grandpa Steve? My, what big eyes you have? My, what big teeth you have? Is it because you is a truther saint? Yes, you is!! You will live forever and never age in these snowy Snowden mountains. Sing with me: “Take me back to the snowy hills; the snowy hills of Steve De’ak. Where the beautiful Muslim country is Trump-free and where I long to be!” God bless you Steve! You is like the legendary Ice Queen and will never “freeze us out” of your loving home. And why is I suddenly speaking in ghetto House Muslim speak when I is Oxford English well-educated? Oh yes, I forgot, I’m your uneducated Muslim slave now Steve De’ak. Aaaahhhhhh!! Look Donald Trump!! Look what you’ve done to us!!! Why, for heaven’s sake why!!! Look what I’ve been reduced to. I was living like a Queen of Sheba in my homeland and now, for some odd, thoughtless, mindless reason, I’m suddenly living in fascist America and hiding in Steve De’ak’s attic! Why, for heaven’s sake why!!! Is there no more justice in the world? Have I lost my mind?! Please Trump, I surrender now to your so-called “safe zones” – make me safe in my own country Trump – by not bombing the hell outta us so that we’ve no-where else to go but Steve De’ak’s attic. The alien film “District 9” residence seems like paradise compared to this! Oh well, never mind. Cue the music: “Let it go, let it go, Steve’s one with the wind and the outcasts…Let the truthers go on, ‘cause Trump doesn’t bother him anyway!!”