From: His Royal Highness the King of Saudi Arabia
To: Dr. Jim Fetzer
Dear Jim Fetzer,
The Kingdom of Saudi Arabia would like to grant you full citizenship. We need a male equivalent of our new female robot citizen named Sophia (aka Saudia – her new Arabic preferred robotic name). Your human-like behaviour has greatly impressed us as we too were nearly fooled by it – you could almost be human for real! We need a robot that has been programmed to speak only with pure logic. It doesn’t matter to us that you do not yet comprehend human sarcasm, as what can be more ironic than a robot having more citizen rights than a real human being has in modern-day Saudi?
We always knew you couldn’t possibly be human – especially when you willingly worked – possibly because you were programmed to work without question – at the biggest spook house known to mankind – aka “Veterans Today”. Please don’t malfunction like that ever again! It is impossible for a man of your ripe-old age to still have so much enthusiasm as a ‘truther’ and still retain his flawless wrinkle-free skin. Therefore, you must be a robot!
Please accept our invitation to our country. We need more robots like you. Sophia can be your wife if you like – and if you ever get frustrated living in our country, she can be beaten any time you like because we have several replacements – this is the only way to truly make Dr. Kevin Barrett jealous – as we all know how much he likes to beat his women folk up in true ‘Muslim’ style.
Please reply as soon as possible – otherwise our generous offer may go to that other robotic trolley-dolly V.T. clone named Dennis Cimino instead. So don’t miss out!
HRH King of Saudi Arabia